Closest I've Ever Come
by ButterflyGirl89
Summary: Takes place after Harris is let off in the episode Undercover. Harris is after revenge and this time it's Elliot who's there to save her and offer a shoulder to cry on. Just some extra's I think should have happened. Liv talks about her feelings to Elliot
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so I know I've already done a story on this episode but after watching it, I got this idea and I really wanna go with it, so please let me know what you think. **

**My god Mariska is a goddess, in that episode she was doing more than acting, it was…I don't know what it was it was but it was pure brilliance, her father would be so proud of her. I bet Peter was right there behind the cameras reading to just praise her the moment the cameras finished rolling.**

**Anyway, stop rambling Jo, when I was watching it I kinda thought that the guard was going to get away with it so me little brain got ticking and I came up with this. **

**Personally I love Fin but Elliot should have saved her and kicked Harris' ass, and I think they should have got Parker for it too, because lets face it he was already for taking her off and having his merry way with her but Harris jumped the queue, which you could so tell pissed Parker right off, that guy was hard for her. **

**Anyway I came up with this, hope ya like it. It'll only be one or two chapters..**

**Disclaimer****: Not mine**

**Chapter 1**

As Elliot drove her back to her apartment all she could think about was no matter how hard she had tried she still couldn't get justice for Ashley and Risa and all those other women, and for herself.

She would never tell anyone just how scared she had been in that basement. After it though, all she could think was '_is that how scared my mother was_'? God now she understood why her mother hated her so much and not one bit of her blamed her anymore, she hated herself.

She was so lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed Elliot pull up outside her building. She was looking out of the window, but at nothing in particular. She near jumped a mile as Elliot put his hand on her knee to get her attention.

"Shit…" She mumbled. She took a deep breath and rubbed the spot above her eye where she had the worst migraine she had ever had in her life coming on.

"Let me walk you up." Elliot said.

"No." She said.

"Liv I'm gonna walk you up." He said firmly.

"Elliot back off." She said. She opened the door but he grabbed it and shut it again. She just closed her eyes she could feel tears stinging her eyes, but she was determined she wasn't going to cry.

"I know you Liv. I know you think you screwed you up because we can't hold Harris, but for Gods sakes, what would you do? Go back there and let him rape you…leave some of his DNA in you so we could hold him? What makes you think he would have stopped at that, what makes you think he wouldn't have killed you after he'd raped you?" He said.

She wanted to answer him but she couldn't she had a huge lump in her throat, so she tried to push the door open again, but he was holding it firm. "You did your job, that's all you can do, that's all any of us can do." He said.

She turned to face him. The tears in her eyes were about ready to burst their banks. "I screwed up El, me. I wanted to get him so bad I didn't think any of it through and then when it did happen, I got scared and I panicked so I ran from him…" She said choking on the lump that refused to budge.

"As opposed to what laying there and taking it…" He said getting frustrated that he didn't know what she would do if she were in that situation again, he wanted to believe she would do the same, fight like hell, but he knew how damn stubborn she was about helping the victims at whatever cost.

She pulled his arm off the door then pushed it open. "Then will you please flash your lights once your inside." He said.

"Will it make you fuck off?" She asked.

He just nodded. He was hurt because he knew she was hurting and that she was ashamed so she was lashing out at him. Just like he knew he did with her when the situations were reversed and he thought he had screwed up.

She jumped out and he watched as she walked up to her building, he was looking around everywhere and he had his hand ready to open the door if need be. He watched as she walked inside the building. He knew she would take the stairs instead of the lift so he waited.

After a minute or two she flashed her lights, three times. Satisfied she was in he checked around again then slowly pulled away, he'd already decided he was driving round the block once…maybe twice.

- - - - - -

Inside Olivia had taken a bottle of beer out of the fridge and was almost halfway through it when there was a knock on the door. She slammed the bottle down. She knew it would be Elliot worrying about her. Didn't he understand she just wanted to be left alone to hide under her blankets and try to feel safe again and forget the whole thing?

She stormed over to the door, so ready for yelling at him she didn't even bother to check the peephole, she just unlocked the door, took the chain off and swung it open, quickly regretting it.

Harris grabbed hold of her and pushed her back into her apartment, whilst Parker quickly followed behind him shutting the door.

"Help me!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

Harris clamped his hand over her mouth and pushed her down on the worktop. "Cuff her." He said to Parker.

Parker walked towards her swinging the cuffs, taunting her. The tears were streaming down her face, she knew now her rape was inevitable, two against one, she just about had a shot in the basement when it was just her and Harris.

Her heart was pounding and her head was dizzy with the thoughts that were whizzing around it, telling her she was about to be raped. As Parker got a little closer she kicked out hitting right between the legs, he fell into Harris clutching himself. Harris almost fell flat on the floor so as his grip on Olivia loosened she bolted.

She ran straight into the bathroom, she tried to shut the door knowing she would be able to lock it, but Harris ran into it sending her and the door flying across the bathroom. She fell into the sink, hitting her already bruised back. She just looked at Harris. "Please just get out!" She begged him.

"We will once I get what a came here for." He said before he grabbed her hair and dragged her out of the bathroom, he threw her right over the back of the couch so she landed smack bang on it, in seconds he had jumped on top of her. He was holding her arms above her head whilst Parker cuffed them.

"Stop!" She cried. "Help me, somebody please help me!" She screamed. She knew her neighbors would be able to hear her.

Parker was holding her arms down and Harris was quickly working on getting her jeans off, thanks to her squirming he was finding it quite difficult. "Hold her still!" He yelled at Parker.

"I'm trying…" Parker yelled back at him.

Olivia managed to rip her arms free from Parker's grasp and she quickly used them to push him, he lost his balance and fell back.

Outside, Elliot was driving past her building again, he could see a dull light on in her apartment he guessed it was the lamp. Suddenly there was a flash and it went off, her apartment went almost completely black. He stopped the car dead in the middle of the street and dove out. "Olivia!" He yelled as he ran towards her building.

He began pushing all the buttons. "Please, somebody let me in." He said franticly.

The sound of the door buzzing as someone let him in was the best thing he'd ever heard. He barged through the door and began running up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Harris was heavy on top of Olivia. He was kneeling on her legs with his sharp knees that were keeping her legs apart. "Dirty lying cop…." He spat at her, "…I'm gonna make you wish I'd killed you back in that basement." He said grabbing her bruised face and holding it still whilst he kissed her hard in the lips, forcing his probing tongue into her mouth.

She cried and tried to scream but his mouth over hers muffled her screams. "Hurry it up Harris I want a go off her." Parker said impatiently like a kid waiting in line to play with a toy next.

"You'll get your turn." He said as he pulled his pants down, just enough so he could hang out of them comfortably.

"No!" She screamed. "Get off of me!" She ordered.

Parker slapped his mouth down on hers, he wanted his turn early. Harris grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him off her.

"Wait your god-damn turn!" He yelled at him.

Harris began squeezing her breasts through her shirt as she lay there crying, still squirming but her body was so tired, she had used up every ounce of adrenaline in the basement. "Please don't do this." She whimpered.

"But this is what you wanted…" Parker said, "…it's why you came to Sealview." He said before he grabbed himself, positioning himself ready to push into her. "No!" She screamed…suddenly there was a bang and the door flew open.

Elliot ran in pointing his gun at them. "Back off. Get the fuck away from her!" He yelled.

Harris just huffed and climbed off her, using her body to push himself of her, leaving behind what she knew would lead to more bruises. Both Harris and Parker backed up. Parker had his hands held up in the air but Harris was too busy putting himself away.

Keeping the gun fixed on them he walked over to the couch and put his hand out for Olivia, she quickly took it and he pulled her up, backing up a bit with her before wrapping his arm around her as he fell into his arms. "It's okay Liv, I got ya. I got ya." He said as she cried against his shoulder.

His heart felt about ready to explode, he had never ran so fast in his life. He had heard her screaming two floors down. He had ran past someone already on the phone calling for the police, now he could hear the sirens approaching.

He just glared at Harris, who glared back at Olivia, he knew now he had lost his chance to have her and that he was going away. At least he wouldn't be alone, Parker would be right there sharing a cell.

**TBC**

**What do ya think?**

**I know this ain't the first post-undercover fic and it won't be the last, but that episode rocked, so I say bring em all on. **

**They should have made Undercover into the SVU movie, then it could have been hours longer and they really could have gone into depth with the drugs thing and her life at Sealview, and Elliot could have been in it more.**

**Next chapter will take place after Warner asked Olivia was she raped, because I think more should have been said, although the last line was great. I just think she should have talked to Elliot about it as hard as it'll be for her. So that'll be the next chapter.**

**Please review. D**


	2. Chapter 2

**I had wrote the now chapter 3 as chapter 2 but you all said you wanted to see Elliot kick some ass so I thought as a thanks for your reviews your wishes would be granted, so here is the new chapter 2. Good job I hadn't posted yet.**

**Disclaimer****: Not mine.**

**Chapter 2**

_In Melinda's office, whilst Elliot held him firmly in place, with his pants dropped, Melinda was taking pictures of Harris member. Olivia was in the room, but for the life of her she wasn't going to look at that again. Somehow she thought that might not totally be in her control, her head hadn't let her forget anything yet._

"_Captain ha, looked more like a private to me." Elliot said._

"_We'll have to enlarge it for the jury but it was right where Ashley had said it would be." Melinda said._

_Harris, obviously offended by their remarks, just ignored them and glared at Olivia, the reason he was here._

_Olivia couldn't help but smirk as Elliot led him out of the room._

- - - - - - - -

Olivia sat there just staring at Harris who was staring right back at her, a smirk on his face. "So what's your problem with me Harris?" She asked him.

"I haven't got a problem with you I just wanted to fuck you." He said frankly.

"Oh charming." She said. "I like a guy to take me out for dinner first, maybe buy me some flowers." She said sarcastically.

Elliot instantly recognized her behavior, she was in self destruct mode and she was saying stuff that was likely to get her a slap from Harris were he able, fortunately for her Harris hands were securely cuffed together and he was sat down.

"So do you and Parker usually work together? Are you two close?" She asked him with a smug smile.

"Shut up." He said knowing what she was insinuating.

"Oh come on Harris I thought we were close." She said sarcastically. "I mean you tried to rape me." She said hating the sound of the words as the spilled from her mouth.

"Yea pity I didn't get to finish, you need showing your place whore." He said.

She lunged across the table to get him but Elliot quickly caught her and pulled her back. "Get off me." She whispered to Elliot. She turned to face him so he knew just how serious she was being.

Elliot moved his arms away and she walked over to Harris and sat on the table near him. "Is that what you think, that I need a big strong man to assault me, so I learn my place?" She asked him.

"I'd have fucked you till you were begging me to stop. You'd be doing nothing but apologizing, again." He said.

Elliot was suddenly wishing he had just left her to hit him or whatever but he knew she'd have hit him till she was doing more damage to herself than him.

"Please stop, please stop, please don't…" He said mocking her.

Olivia just ignored him but sighed with frustration, but the simple movement caused her battered body discomfort, especially her stomach from where he had slammed the baton into it. Harris smiled seeing her pain.

"Sore?" He asked her.

She just rubbed the spot above her eye where she could feel a headache rising, but looked at him and shook her head.

"I got something for that." He said with a suggestive smile.

"No you haven't." She said, knowing for well he did and it was something she was never gonna be able to forget.

"Let me show you again then bitch." He said as he stood up sending the chair tumbling backwards. He grabbed Olivia's shirt and pulled her down flat on the table and kissed her hard on the lips. "Don't…" She screamed.

In seconds Elliot was there ripping him away from her. He slammed Harris into the wall and began punching his face. Cragen ran in and helped Olivia up, they both watched Elliot's attack on Harris. Fin and Lake ran in and walked over to Elliot.

Elliot let Harris fall to the floor before he began kicking him. "Don't you fucking touch her…don't you ever think of her again!" Elliot roared at him.

Harris just coughed and spluttered, trying to get his breath back. Elliot slammed his foot into him a few more times before Fin and Lake reluctantly pulled him back. "Leave him Elliot, he gets it." Fin said.

Olivia just looked at Harris who lay bloodied on the floor. Elliot looked at her, Harris must have bit her lip or something because there was a small trickle of blood seeping from it. She used the back of her hand to dab at the blood before meeting Elliot's gaze.

Then she walked out, leaving the others just watching. Harris remained on the floor bloodied and broken, not nearly enough for what he had done to so many inmates and Ashley and to Olivia.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Did Elliot kick enough ass? I know he never got to kick Parkers ass but that guy was a fruit loop, he'll have his ass kicked in Rikers.**

**Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for giving this a go and thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**I'm thinking, maybe, about making this longer cause I've seen the preview for next weeks episode and I know it's only like 30 odd seconds long but I have a feeling they'll brush this experience under the rug, which personally I don't feel is very realistic. You don't forget something like that that quick…**

**Because of where I have decided to take this there are going to be spoilers in this chapter for the upcoming episode 'Closet.' So don't read on if ya want it to be a surprise. Spoilers are right at the end.**

**The part in Italics is a flashback.**

**Disclaimer****: They're not mine.**

**Chapter 3**

_After Elliot had left Melinda had decided to Olivia ask what it was that was playing on her mind._

"_How did you know to ask Ashley about the mole?" Melinda asked her._

"_She remembered." Olivia said hesitantly._

"…_But you couldn't have known she was right." Melinda pointed out as she walked over to Olivia._

_She couldn't help but hesitate. "I saw it when he had me in the basement." She said as her eyes filled up with tears._

"_Olivia did he rape you?" Melinda asked, staring her in the eyes, hoping to maybe find the answer there._

_For a moment she couldn't answer. "It's the closest I've ever come." She replied as her tears threatened to burst their banks._

- - - - - -

After that Olivia had told Melinda she was fine and that she would get over both attacks and her time at Sealview, but after the interrogation and now as she sat alone in a bar, a scotch on the rocks next to her whilst she ripped up the label from off a bottle of beer she had had when she first walked in, she was beginning to think maybe she was not so fine.

Every time the door opened her heart skipped a beat and she checked to see who had come in. "You okay sweetheart?" The bar tender asked her as he polished a glass. He had noticed her when she walked in along with the bruises on her face, her exposed wrists and arms and on her neck.

She thought about her answer for a moment. "Peachy." She said before finishing off her scotch. She sighed and looked into the empty glass like it would fill itself back up again. Suddenly another one was placed in front of her.

She looked up to see the bartender smiling at her. "It's on the house." He said. She smiled at him then watched as he walked off to serve another customer.

"You really think that will help?" She heard a familiar voice say. She turned to see Elliot climbing onto the stool next to hers.

"It worked for my mother." She said to him, not daring to look at him.

"No it didn't Liv it killed your mother." He said.

Her bottom lip began to tremble as he spoke, she knew he was right and the last thing she wanted to do was become more like her mother. "So did you come here just to lecture me on my drinking habits? 'Cause if ya did, I'm really not in the mood." She said.

"No." He said. "I came here to ask you what happened in the basement."

"Nothing happened in the basement." She said quickly.

"Then how did you know about the mole?" He asked her.

She took a swig of her drink then turned to face him.

"He took me down there…he threw me down onto a mattress. I got up he pinned me whilst he shoved his tongue down my throat, told me 'he was gonna take his time with me'…then he threw me back down only to then pin me against another wall whilst he prodded me with his hard on, then the son-of-a-bitch uncuffed me, I hit him and I ran…" She told him quickly taking another long swig of her drink, her lip still trembling as well as her whole body as she was forced to remember what had happened again.

"When did he cuff you to the door?" He asked.

She just sighed. She knew Fin had told him just what he had saw and she knew what it must have looked like to Fin, what it had very closely come to actually being. She just bit her bottom lip, desperate for it to stop trembling. "He found where I was hiding…" She told him, in barley more than a whisper.

"Did he drag you to the door?" He asked her.

"No. He told me to come to him, so I did and he hit me. I hit him back then I ran to the door but it was locked…" She hated herself for having obeyed Harris orders like 'come here'. If she had put up more of a fight, stayed where she was Fin would have gotten to her before all the shit at the door had happened.

"Olivia please, I need to know if he raped you." Elliot said, holding her hand to stop her from taking a drink before she answered him.

"Why do you need to know?" She asked him.

"Because I'm scared shitless for you..." He said

She closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. Sometimes she hated that he cared for her so much, it made the way she felt about him so much more complex. She turned to face him. "If Fin hadn't got there when he did…" She said.

Elliot just looked at her, she stopped biting on her lip and it began trembling again as she burst into tears. "I was so scared. I thought I was gonna be raped and I was gonna end up just like my mother…." She said batting the tears away. "How could I help rape victims if I am one…?" She said.

"But you're not Liv, you got away." Elliot said.

"I was pathetic Elliot I ran and hid from him. I should have kicked him whilst he was down but I didn't…" She said.

"You're not pathetic you were scared and you followed your instincts. I'd have run." He said.

"No you wouldn't…" She said matter-of-factly.

"Is that why you're beating yourself up, because you think that just because you ran you're somehow not as good as me…? Shit Liv if that had of been me in that basement…." He began but he didn't have a clue what he would have done. "I would have done the same thing, hid and prayed to God he didn't find me." He concluded.

She continued to look at him. She did think she was weaker than him for having run, but his words made her feel like maybe she wasn't so weak after all.

"Liv I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, but despite what you think, you are only human." He said.

They both smiled slightly the suddenly she didn't care if he saw her crying, but he did something she wasn't expecting he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her whole body in and held her tight.

She wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her face into his chest and continued crying. He stroked her hair, thanking god he still could. "If something had of happened to you back there, I don't know what I'd have done." He said to her.

"I was so scared I wouldn't get to see you again." She confessed to him. It was one of the things that had crossed her mind whilst she had been hiding and she had heard Harris smashing things up, trying to find her.

He held her a little tighter careful not to hurt her injured body, she held him tighter. He kissed her head, once, twice, three times and each time she found herself wishing he would do it again. She pulled back and looked at him and smiled. "Thanks." She said, gazing into his comforting blue eyes.

"Anytime." He said looking right back into her chocolate pools.

Before either knew what they were doing, they moved closer and their lips brushed against each others. Elliot brought his hand up and lightly held her bruised face in his palm as he carefully kissed her, needing more than a quick skim of their lips.

Olivia rested her hands on his thighs and relaxed into the kiss, her head remembering kisses could be loving and not forceful, for a minute her head was pushing what had happened to the back of her mind, but just as their tongues really began to touch Elliot pulled away.

"I'm sorry..." He said.

"Don't be…" She said. She certainly wasn't.

"Look I'm gonna have to get home, but let me give you a lift." Elliot said.

"Don't worry about it. I got someone picking me up." She said, suddenly missing the connection they had just had.

"Who is it?" Elliot asked, after all who did she have?

They both looked up as they heard the door open. Elliot turned away as he saw a man walk in but Olivia's gaze didn't budge, and her lips curled into a small smile, he turned again and watched as the guy walked right over to them and then kissed Olivia lightly on the cheek. "You feeling better honey?" He asked her.

"Yea." She said, smiling.

Elliot just looked at her.

"Kurt this Elliot, he's my partner at work." She said. "Elliot this is Kurt, my boyfriend." She said…

**TBC**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Don't worry they may not be scrapping Kurt in the show, but I certainly will be, on the biggest dump I can find preferably.**

**Thank you D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews and inspiring me to write on with this story.**

**Disclaimer****: Not mine.**

**Chapter 4**

Olivia just stared at Elliot who was glaring back and forth between her and Kurt. Even in the noisy bar, the silence that had fallen upon them could have been cut with a knife.

"I'm just gonna go the bathroom why I'm here. I'll meet you outside." Olivia said to Kurt, wanting him out before, she feared, Elliot might jump up and deck him.

"Okay." He said smiling at her. She went to walk off but he kept his hold on her arm and stopped her, he walked up to her and kissed her on the lips. Elliot just looked away. Olivia consciously pushed Kurt back a little but smiled then walked off.

Kurt licked his lips then turned to face Elliot again. He dug his hands in his pockets as he walked back over to him. "Isn't she the greatest. "Kurt said.

"She's the best." Elliot answered.

"So El how's Liv been with you..?" Kurt asked. "You know since…you' know..?"

There were so many things wrong with what Kurt just said Elliot didn't know where to begin. "Firstly…" He said. "It's Elliot to you." He clarified.

Kurt just nodded his head and made an 'o' shape with his mouth.

"Secondly Olivia has been fine with me." He wished he could tell him just how fine they had been about a minute before he walked in but for her sake he wouldn't.

Kurt could tell Elliot didn't like him. "Has she slept or ate at all in work? She won't eat what I make at home and she isn't sleeping unless I'm holding her." He said just twisting the knife in with Elliot.

Elliot just bit his lip.

"I mean I know what happened to her was a lot to take in…she has bruises in places I didn't even think you could get bruises." Kurt said with a smirk on his face.

Elliot had known him for all of two minutes and all he could think about was getting in his car and running him over. He was about to answer when Olivia walked over to them. "I thought I was meeting you outside?" She said surprised to see Kurt still stood talking to Elliot…and on his feet.

"El and I were just getting better acquainted." Kurt said taking her hand in his. "Come on lets get you home." He said. "G'night El." He said.

Elliot just glared at him, but changed his expression as he looked at Olivia. She could see the hurt on his face, she knew she should have told him about Kurt at the start, but she just couldn't.

"Night El." She said as she walked out behind Kurt. Elliot just watched her till she was gone. He turned around and climbed back into the stool, finishing off the scotch that was left in her glass.

- - - - - -

At her apartment Olivia threw her keys down as Kurt followed her in. He walked straight over to the fridge and pulled out two beers. He put them down on the worktop whilst he peeled his jacket off. He then opened the drawer where he knew she kept her bottle opener and rummaged about till he found it. She watched him and wasn't totally thrilled with how comfy he made himself in her apartment.

He handed her one of the beers but she refused, remembering what Elliot had said to her in the bar. Elliot was all she could think about, she felt so bad for having left him in the bar when he had so obviously come looking for her.

"I'm gonna go soak in the bath." She said to Kurt.

"Want me to join you?" He asked as he danced towards her and placed his hands on her waist before kissing her, a little harder than she would have liked, causing her lip pain.

"I just wanna soak in it for a while." She said, it was a no and he got it.

"No worries. I think there's a game on anyway." He said as he brushed past her and walked over to the couch. She watched as he sat down and put his feet up on her coffee table, he kicked his shoes of and turned the game on, immediately cheering as his team scored straight away.

Olivia just looked at the beer, giving in to temptation she grabbed it, opened it up then walked into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her. She put the beer down on the side and pulled her jacket off, throwing it on the floor in the corner. She kicked her shoes off and pushed them into the corner as well. She sat down on the edge of the bath and put the plug in then turned the hot on full.

She pulled her socks off then stood up whilst she undid her trousers. As she slid them down her legs, the bruises that marked her skin were even more visible. They were all down the inside of her thighs, from where Harris had knelt of her and pulled at her. They were on her knees from where she had hit the floor.

She pulled her shirt off and instantly saw a huge purple line across her stomach. She had to pull her eyes away. Seeing the marks, that had been no were near as visible when she had dressed this morning, were making the whole thing flash out in her mind again, but as she looked up she saw herself in the mirror. She looked like she had been trampled by a bull. She slowly turned and exposed the bruises all over her back as well.

Seeing it made it even more real to her, she fell back down onto the ledge of the bath and although she tried not to she burst into tears, crying into her hands. She slid herself off the ledge of the bath and onto the floor. She brought her legs up to her body and wrapped her arms around them, needing the security of being held even if it was by herself.

She rested her head on her knees and continued to cry as the small bathroom filled with steam, enveloping her within it.

**TBC**

**Please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**It's great that you all hate Kurt so much, me too.**

**Disclaimer****: Not mine.**

**Chapter 5**

_Her heart was pounding and it raced even faster every time the light from the torch hit her body as she hid. She feared if her heart got any louder he would find her. Her heart did get louder but only as she heard the chairs clatter as they hit the floor in front of her, she looked up to see him staring down at her._

"_Hello." His raspy voice said. She just hung her head, she wanted to scream as loud as she could but her throat felt like someone hand rubbed the back of it with sandpaper, and besides no one could hear her anyway, she knew that._

"_Guess whose ass is mine now." She heard him say._

"_Okay you win." She said as she got up she stepped out from her hiding place, with her hands up in surrender, begging him to take it easy._

_He hit her once then twice with his baton she cried out in agony and fell to the floor. He said something but her thoughts were fixed on her latest injuries that had winded her like she had never been winded before._

_From somewhere she found the strength to elbow him, she was going for the groin. She'd hit him somewhere but where exactly she wasn't sure and she wasn't stopping to check either. She ran straight over to a door and began pulling on it, willing it to open._

_Her heart sunk as she quickly realized it was locked. "Somebody help me!" She yelled as she continued pounding the door. She was crying uncontrollably, she couldn't help it. She heard him running up behind her she turned with the intent on trying to run, but he whipped his hand across her face. She yelped as she fell to the floor crying, she didn't have the strength to push herself back up._

_He grabbed the loose cuff and pulled it, yanking on her arm. "No...No…" She cried as she tried to stop him from cuffing her to the door but he just told her to shut up and succeeded. "Let go of me…!" She cried._

_He stood in front of her with his crotch right in her face. She closed her eyes and prayed this would be over with quick. She whimpered as she heard him unzip his trousers. As she opened her eyes she had clear vision of the thing that was about to abuse her in the worst ways possible._

"_You bite me and your dead." He spat at her through gritted teeth._

_She just sobbed as he grabbed her face. "No…no…no…" She cried as he forced himself into her mouth, bucking his hips whilst he held her face still. "Oh that's it baby…" He moaned as he moved faster. There wasn't a thing she could do to stop him. _

_She didn't understand why Fin wasn't coming to help her…_

She suddenly shot upright in bed in a full sweat and unable to breathe properly as her heart pounded. Kurt who was asleep next to her hadn't even budged, not even as his arms had fell onto her lap after it had being draped across her stomach whilst she had been laying down.

She climbed out of the bed pushing his arm off her. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush and put a huge glob of toothpaste on it and began scrubbing it over her teeth and gums. It may have only been a dream but it had felt so real and her mouth felt dirty.

She spat out the froth in her mouth, it was just a mixture of toothpaste and blood from where she was cutting her gums as she scrubbed. She even scrubbed her tongue till it bled. She spent the best part of ten minutes brushing until her shoulder began to ache and refused to support the weight of her arm. She swilled her mouth out with a handful of water then walked over to her welcoming couch.

She lay down, bringing her legs up to rest on it as well, she lay there and just let the cold air hit her body. She had taken to sleeping in sweat pants, a tank top and a sweater the last few nights. She wanted her body hidden. She hated the bruises as they reminded her of how close she had come to being just like her mother and the people who it was her job to help. Plus she didn't want anyone touching her or even looking at her body.

She pulled the blanket over her from off the back of her couch, she didn't want to sleep but she felt cold. Her eyes began to close but she kept opening them again, all she saw when her eyes closed was Harris's face, his eyes glaring at her, abusing her body.

She looked at the clock it was 5.45, outside it was fairly light. Deciding she was wearing the perfect clothes she got up and grabbed her running shoes. She pulled them on and walked over to the door, she swung it opened and walked out, swinging it shut behind her.

- - - - - - - - - -

She was running so fast and so hard that every muscle in her battered and bruised body, was screaming out in pain. She felt like they were tearing but she kept running, pushing herself faster and harder trying to push through the pain.

Her hot breath trailed behind her in the icy morning air. The cold hit her lungs, stinging them, bust she ignored it.

She ran straight into the street, not bothering to look, missing a big yellow taxi by inches. He yelled out the window at her but she kept running, ignoring him.

The sweat was dripping from her and her lungs were in agony, barley opening enough for her to take in a much needed gulp of oxygen.

The thunder began to roar in the sky above her, but she kept running. The sound of her feet hitting the hard floor was almost deafening her and her ears were already ringing. She was so dizzy but for the life of her she wouldn't stop.

The rain began to pelt down, hitting her, the huge drops felt like hammers on her exhausted body. She still didn't stop as her clothes became soaking through from the heavy down pour, weighing her down.

She turned up an alley, knowing it would lead her onto the next street that would be Elliot's, which is where without intent she had found herself running too. Her pace had begun to die out and her legs barely lifted her feet off the floor, she was just dragging them now. She held her hand on her chest as it began wheezing and she struggled for breath.

Her feet suddenly crashed into each other tripping her up, she somersaulted forward smashing down on the hard floor, ripping the skin off the palm of her hand as it scraped along the floor. She yelped in pain.

Her entire body was screaming in agony now she was still. She just lay there in the rain, letting the rain drops mingle in with her tears.

- - - - - -

Elliot was lying on his couch, he hadn't slept more than twenty minutes all night, he couldn't he kept thinking about Olivia in that basement, running and fearing for her life, begging not to be raped.

He just lay there looking up at the plain ceiling. There was suddenly a bang on his door making his whole body jump. The bang was quickly followed by a thud. He dove up off the couch and ran over to the door, he swung it open and Olivia collapsed into his arms, nearly pulling him down on to the floor.

"Holy shit…" He said. Her hand slid down his chest leaving a trail of blood on his shirt.

He quickly scooped her up in his arms and kicked the door shut. He was going to take her to the couch but her entire body was shaking in his arms, her lips were blue and her skin was almost purple, making the bruises on her face black.

He ran into the bathroom with her, shutting the door behind him. He laid her down on the floor and reached over her and pushed the shower curtain back then turned the hot tap on full blast. Steam quickly began to fill the room.

He grabbed a wash cloth and wrapped it round her bloodied hand. Next he began peeling her clothes off, they were freezing to the touch. He pulled her sweater and tank top over her head and threw them across the bathroom.

He grabbed a towel and moved to wrap it round her top but his eyes caught a glimpse of all the bruises her body held, black due to the temperature of her body. They were everywhere tiny little round bruises made by fingers, some of the bruises held tiny slices in them, made by finger nails.

Her stomach was practically one big bruise in itself, a prefect black line ran across it. He guessed it was from a baton. He sighed and wrapped the towel tight around her top half.

He put another towel under her head as she lay there, her whole body trembling. He moved by her legs. He had to get her sweat pants off her. He had to warm her up quickly and although the steam was now warming up the room, her icy cold wet sweats kept her body from being able to stay warm

Slowly he tucked his fingers in her waistband and began pulling her sweats down. Up until now she had been lying with her eyes closed just shaking but as she felt her trousers being pulled from her she sprang up and began hitting him with her fists.

"No…no..! Get of me….leave me alone. Stop!" She screamed at him, clawing at his arms with her nails.

He hated the fear in her voice, and as much as he hated to, he kept going with her sweats.

"Stop it, please don't!" She screamed at him. She was so out of it she had no idea who it was that was touching her.

"Liv honey it's me, its El. We need to get these wet clothes off you." He said pulling her shoes off so he could finish getting the sweats off.

She just cried and continued hitting him, "Please don't! Please stop…!" She cried. She hadn't heard a word he'd said, she was just seeing Harris tugging at her clothes. "I won't let you rape me…" She cried slapping him across the face.

She'd barley touched him, she had no strength left what so ever. At him carrying on she just lay back and covered her face with her hands as she cried. With her shoes gone he swiped her trousers off. "No…" She screamed. Her scream hit him right in the heart, it wasn't of pain it was of fear, pure stone cold fear.

He grabbed another towel and wrapped it tightly round her legs, then quickly crawled away form her legs and pulled her into his arms and wrapped the other towel back around her again. "No…no…don't, please don't." She begged.

He wrapped his arms around her body. She struggled against him for a minute but he held onto her tight. "Please don't…." She whimpered, barely loud enough for him to hear her.

"It's me Liv, it just me. I'm not gonna hurt you. You're okay, you're okay." He said as he began rocking her back and forth.

Then it clicked with her, it _was_ Elliot who was holding her and _not _Harris pulling at her, trying to abuse her. The hot air was thawing her body out and beginning to make things clearer in her head again.

She looked around and recognized the bathroom she was in. She looked at the hands holding her, Elliot's hands, she'd know them anywhere. "Shh, you're okay Liv. I got you honey." She heard him say.

With realization slowly sinking in, more tears began to spill. Not just of fear now, they were of pain, embarrassment, confusion. She wrapped her arms tight around him and cried against his chest, clinging onto his shirt with every bit of strength she had left.

He had to fight to keep control of his own tears as he continued rocking her, holding onto her for dear life as she wept…

**TBC**

**Hope ya liked. **

**Thanks for reading, please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Should have mentioned, in this that Elliot never got back with Kathy, hence why he has his own place.**

**Disclaimer****: They're not mine, no surprises there eh..?**

**Chapter 6**

Olivia was wrapped up in towels, lying on Elliot's couch. He had put his comforter over her and was now placing two more blankets over her. She just looked up and smiled at him. "Thanks." She said weakly.

He grabbed a dry towel and began gently drying her hair with it. She found it quite soothing, which made her feel even crazier since she had been freaking at his touch all of twenty minutes ago.

"What the hell were you doing out in this weather, you could have killed yourself?" He said. He didn't mean to sound angry with her but he couldn't help it, he was worried about her.

She didn't answer him because she didn't want to sound pathetic by telling him she couldn't sleep because she'd had a bad dream. So she just ignored the question and looked out of the window at the heavy rain.

He left her hair, having dried it pretty thoroughly, and moved round and sat on the coffee table in front of her. She looked up at him and met his eyes with her own. His had so much concern in them that she had to look away before she began feeling guiltier than she already did.

"Can I see your hand?" He said.

"El it's fine." She said, not wanting the attention and still not looking at him.

"Olivia…" He said, there was a warning behind it, but there was concern behind it too. It did its job, startling the hell out of her but she couldn't help but smile as she held her hand out to him.

He unwrapped the bloodied wash cloth and they both winced when they saw the wound underneath it. The sight of her own blood had never bothered her before, but right now it did. "Ugh gross…" She muttered as she looked away, choosing to look back at his eyes.

Under different circumstances he would have smiled and played about with her, about her not being the bad ass she liked to let people think she was. Somehow he didn't think it was quite appropriate now.

He already had the first aid kit ready behind him. He grabbed it and balanced it on one knee whilst he laid her hand down on the other. He gently brushed some of the dirt and gravel away with the cloth. "You look like you got into a fight with a cheese grater." He said, making her laugh a little, it did look bad.

He took an antiseptic wipe out of the first aid kit and began wiping away some of the dirt, trying to wipe away some of the gravel that was lodged in the cuts too. She flinched and pulled her hand out of his grasp as he knocked a small piece of glass that was wedged in pretty deep.

He gently pulled her hand back to him and pulled the tiny shard out, quickly cleaning the area with another wipe. "Have you had all you shots?" He asked her.

"If I remember right we had them together on one of our lunch breaks." She said.

Elliot smiled, he remembered. She had been given hers in her stomach and he hadn't been able to pull his eyes away. He'd wanted to walk over and just stroke her stomach, it was so toned and her skin was the most perfect caramel colour he had ever seen.

Satisfied it was clean enough he grabbed a cotton pad and pressed it down in the palm of her hand covering the entire wound, he then grabbed a bandage and began wrapping it around her hand. "How did you do this?" He asked her.

"I got in a fight with a cheese grater?" She answered sarcastically. He looked up at her whilst he carried on wrapping the bandage, not impressed by her callous attitude. "I fell…" She told him, sensing he didn't find her remark funny.

He finished wrapping her hand and gently put a safety pin in it to hold it all together. She pulled her hand away whilst he closed up the first aid kit and gathered the bloody cloths and wipes together.

He could see tears had begun to form in her eyes as she looked at her bandaged hand. "Is it too tight?" He asked her, knowing full well it wasn't. He'd had training in first aid so knew just how to do it.

She shook her head and hid her hand under the comforter and snuggled down further under it till it was right under her chin. He looked down at her, her natural colour had come back now she was warmer, so her bruises had faded slightly but he had been able to see just how bad they were.

He gently stroked along her jaw where the biggest bruise on her face was. "He must have hit you pretty hard." He said.

"He just had heavy hands." She told him.

He moved his hand up her face and brushed the hair that had fallen out of place back to where it should be. She smiled at his gesture. "I must look even more like crap?" She said as she ran her hand though her knotted hair.

"You look just fine." He said.

She smiled at him and followed him with her eyes as he got up and walked over to the trash can and threw the wipes and things in it. Whilst he was doing something in the kitchen she took another look at her bandaged hand. Hating how self destructive she was being.

She looked up as Elliot sat back down in front of her, he passed her a cup. "What's that?" She asked.

He reached his other hand out that had two aspirins in it. "El it really doesn't hurt that much." She said.

"I knew you would say that, but you have to have one…or the other." He said holding his hands out to her.

She took the cup, thinking it was water or tea or something. She quickly swallowed what was in the cup, quickly regretting it. "Ugh…Disgusting…What was that?" She asked him as she studied the empty cup, trying to work it out for herself.

"Whisky and hot water, it'll help warm you up." He said.

"If it doesn't make me sick first..." She said, pulling a disgusted face.

"Are you feeling any warmer?" He asked her as he rubbed her shoulders thorough the blankets. She'd felt warmer when he had carried her to the couch from the bathroom and he knew she should be warming up more having all the blankets on her.

"Yea a little." She said.

"If you want I could lend you some clothes." He said.

"No it's okay I'll ring Kurt and ask him to come pick me up and bring some clothes." She said.

Elliot just nodded. Secretly he didn't want someone else taking care of her. He wanted to be the one to take care of her, but he passed her the phone anyway.

- - - - - -

Kurt was lying asleep in Olivia's bed, he had woke up and found her gone but had just turned over and gone straight back to sleep. He cursed as his cell phone suddenly rang. "Kurt Moss?" He said.

"Hey Kurt its Olivia, would you mind picking me up from somewhere?" She asked him.

"I'm sorry baby I wish I could but I'm in the middle of a meeting." He lied.

"Oh okay. No worries." She said.

"Love you." He said before hanging up.

He threw his phone aside and snuggled his face into her pillow and went back off to sleep.

- - - - -

Elliot looked at Olivia, she had a hurt look on her face and he wondered why. However he wasn't about to start interrogating her just yet about the man she saw fit to call her boyfriend.

Olivia knew full well that Kurt wasn't in a meeting and that he probably just couldn't be bothered getting out of bed, but she desperately wanted to be wearing some clothes. "Still got those clothes?" She asked Elliot, faking a smile.

- - - - - - -

With blankets wrapped tight around her body, she followed Elliot into his bedroom. He quickly began rummaging through a drawer till he found an old Knicks shirt for her. He opened another drawer and was trying to find some trousers he thought might fit her, but the best thing he could find were a pair of shorts, he knew she probably wanted something a bit less revealing, but he wasn't finding anything.

She could see him searching for something more than the shorts he had found. "El the shorts are fine, really." She said as she walked over to him and took them and the shirt from him.

He nodded. "Are you sure?" He checked. He didn't want her feeling uncomfortable having to have exposed skin in front of him.

"Yes." She said. "Now go whilst I get changed." She said to him.

He smiled at her then walked out shutting the door behind him. With him gone, she wrapped the blanket around her waist whilst she put the top on. She didn't want her body exposed any longer than it had to be. Even with no one there in the room to see it…she could see it and she didn't want to.

With the shirt on she moved the blanket and put the shorts on. Dressed, and with as much of her covered as she could, she stepped out of the bedroom. Elliot was in the kitchen preparing some food. She walked over to him with her arms folded across her front.

Elliot looked up and watched her walk over to him. He loved the way his clothes looked on her. He wanted to continue admiring her but he noticed all the bruises on her legs again, all over them. Harris had worked her over pretty well. Not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable he peeled his eyes away.

"I was making us some food." He said.

He looked up to see her yawn whilst she nodded. "Sorry." She said excusing herself. "Err yea, food sounds good." She said.

"You tired?" He asked her.

"I haven't been sleeping all that well…can't get comfy on a bruised back so I try on my stomach and that's bruised too." She said laughing nervously.

It was kind of the truth but it was partly a lie because she wasn't sleeping 'cause most of the time she just dreamt about what could have happened to her or she would just see Harris and his body standing in front of her.

"Well this is gonna take a while so why don't you have a nap on the couch." He suggested.

"Yea I think I'll try that." She said to him.

She walked over to the couch and lay down on it and pulled the comforter back over her, but with no intentions of letting herself falling asleep. However Elliot's couch was very welcoming and so comfortable and within ten minutes her eyes had shut and she was asleep…

**TBC**

**Anyone like Kurt any better yet? LOL. **

**Please review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for all the reviews. **

**Again, part in italics is a dream and not a very nice one.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't anything you've seen in SVU.**

**Chapter 7**

_Harris had uncuffed her from the door but was now holding onto the cuff as he dragged her across the dirty basement floor. She was coughing and spitting, trying to get the taste of him and what he had just done to her out of her mouth._

_He yanked hard on the cuffs as he dragged her back up onto the dirty mattress. He quickly fell down on her, straddling her and ultimately pinning her down beneath him. He took hold of her other arm and cuffed it behind her back too quick for her to have even tried to stop him._

_She felt completely pathetic as she just lay there crying. She felt sick as the taste of him lingered in her mouth and she was scared and scared was something Olivia Benson wasn't. "Please don't do this…" She begged him as the tears streamed down her face._

"_Shut-up." He told her coldly._

_She just cried harder, she couldn't understand how he could be doing this and getting away with it. She couldn't understand how no one was coming to help her._

_Taking hold of the bottom of her shirt, Harris tore it open, pulling all the buttons off it. He was slightly disappointed to see she had a white tank top on underneath it but he could quickly solve that problem._

_He pushed the orange shirt off her shoulders and down her arms, bunching it together where the cuffs joined her wrists together. He then pulled the white tank up. "Don't do this. Please I'll do anything…" She pleaded._

"_Oh I know you will." He said._

"_Somebody help me!" She screamed._

_She tried to scream it again but Harris slapped his mouth down on hers, her cries just become muffled sounds. He pulled his mouth away from hers licking his lips. Before she had a chance to scream again he pulled her tank up and used it as a gag. She just cried praying some miracle would save her from this._

_Harris ran his hands up and down her sides purposely brushing his thumbs over her breasts. He latched his mouth onto her left breast biting down hard on her flesh. She screamed in pain as she felt his teeth cut through her skin._

_He quickly stood up on the mattress and kept a foot on her stomach holding her down why he dropped his trousers. He just let them gather at his ankles, too impatient to take them off fully. _

_He bounced down onto his knees straddling her again. He pulled so hard on her trousers, that the button flew off and the zip burst open. He pulled them down her legs. "No…" She cried through the gag. _

_He began kissing her bare stomach, planting wet sloppy kisses all over it. She wanted to throw up as she felt him trail his hand up the inside of her thigh and in between her legs, his fingers suddenly gripped her panties and pulled them aside as he guided himself to her entrance. With one quick and painful thrust he was inside of her._

"_You wanted this." He said to her. "You like it rough don't you, well I can be rougher." He smirked as he thrust harder and harder, tearing her skin. She gasped each time he forced himself into her getting deeper, moving harder and quicker. "Here I come baby…" He said, panting like a dog._

"NO!" She screamed at the top of her lungs as she tried to sit up on the couch, but the blankets had gotten tangled around her and they were holding her down. "Get off!" She yelled as she tried to rip them off her.

"Liv, Liv it's okay." Elliot said as he began to unwrap the blankets around her.

The moment she was free she practically fell off the couch. He watched as she ran into the bathroom, he heard her throw up into the toilet. He walked over to the bathroom and stood in the doorway for a minute just watching as she hugged the bowl.

He hated seeing her like this it wasn't the Olivia he knew. He hated the fact that she was such a good person who had gone to hell to help those women and this was how she was being repaid. He walked over to her and crouched behind her.

He began rubbing her back and brushed her hair back. She fell into his arms, crying against his chest. He brushed her hair back off her forehead, she was sweating at it was clinging to her sticky forehead.

"I can't stop seeing him, every time I close my eyes he's there and I'm so exhausted…" She cried. Her body was ready for giving up. It needed sleep and when it got it, it was filled with terrors that still kept it working overtime. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

"He's always there, touching me and hurting me and I can't stop him…" She cried. "No one comes to help me, no one cares…" She said as her tears fell faster and harder.

"I care. I'd be there to stop him. I'd never let anyone hurt you, I won't let anyone hurt you again I promise." He told her as he stroked her hair.

"I just need to sleep El. I'm so tired..." She said. "I just want to be able to sleep." She whimpered.

"Then sleep in my arms Liv, no one can hurt you there." He soothed.

He sat there and held her until she had cried herself to sleep in his arms. Then he carried her back to the couch and lay down with her still his arms. He pulled one of the blankets over just her. He didn't want her to be freaked out if she woke up with both of them under the blanket together.

He smoothed her hair as she snored lightly next to him, her breath was warm on his neck and as guilty as he felt for it right now, he loved the feel of it and of her in his arms. He was tired too he hadn't slept but having her in his arms let him feel like she was safe so he wasn't lying awake worrying about her. With his hand resting lightly on her hair he finally fell asleep.

**TBC**

**Sorry this was short but I got packing to do. Moving house is so disruptive.**

**Please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry this has taken a while to update. Damn college gets in the way of everything. Anyway here it is, hope it was okay. I don't know how much of a jerk Kurt was in the episode or if he and Olivia are still together because I never saw it, but in this chapter he is a pedigree jerk.**

**Disclaimer****: They're not mine if you have seen them on SVU.**

**Chapter 8**

Olivia woke up and opened her eyes to see Elliot lyting next to her. She smiled as she realized she must have been asleep for hours. She looked down to see Elliot's arms around her and she knew why she had been able to sleep. He had told her she would be safe in his arms and she had been.

She saw the blanket over just her and fixed it over both of them, shielding them both from the icy cold. She snuggled back down next to him and went back to sleep, happy she finally could.

- - - - - -

Olivia was woken up as she heard banging. She got up and quickly ran over to the door, wanting whoever it was to stop so they didn't disturb Elliot. She swung the door open only to have Kurt painfully grip her arm and pull her out of the apartment.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He spat at her through tightly gritted teeth.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." She said trying to pull her arm free but his grip was tight and painful.

"You know you really could have had the decency to tell me if you were coming over here to screw your partner. All that crap about nearly being raped in that basement, I should have known you were lying. Your partner like it rough? I bet you both do is that why you work sex crimes, so you can get tips." He said.

She tried harder to pull her arm free but he tightened his grip. "Get off of me." She said to him.

"Or what..?" He asked her.

"How did you even find me here?" She asked him.

He pulled a black book out of his pocket and threw it at her. "Your address book..." He said.

"You went through my stuff?!" She exclaimed.

"Yea and that's not all I found. What's this?" He asked her, now holding up papers that were familiar to her. "You want to adopt..? Who in their right mind would give you a kid? If you can't have kids then that's the way it should be. Don't waste someone's time with this." He said throwing the papers at her.

"Get off of me!" She screamed at him, trying to rip her arm away even if it meant his nails cut her skin.

"Or what Olivia..?" He asked her again.

Suddenly Elliot was there. He thrust the palm of his hand into Kurt's face. Kurt immediately let go of Olivia as he fell into the wall. Elliot put his hand on Olivia's arm that was red and a little bloody from Kurt's finger nails. He gently rubbed the marks Kurt had left there.

"Are you crazy?!" Kurt yelled at Elliot as he covered his bloody nose.

"Yea, so get the fuck out of my building before I throw you out of my god-damn living room window, you piece of scum!" He said as he grabbed a handful of Kurt's jacket and threw him towards the stairwell.

"You're gonna regret this." He yelled at both of them as he made his way down the stairs.

Elliot just shook his head. He turned around to face Olivia but she was gone. He walked inside to find her leaning over the sink in the kitchen, wiping away tears. He walked over to her and placed his hand on the small of her back. "Hey." He said simply to her.

"Hey." She said back, her voice was shaky as she tried to fight off more tears.

"Liv I hate to have to be the one to tell you but your taste in men sucks." He said.

He was a little surprised when she burst out laughing. She nodded agreeing with him. "Yea."

"Do you wanna go grab a coffee and some food?" He asked her.

"Can we call back at my place first so I can get some clothes?" She asked him.

He nodded. "Sure we can." He said as he took her hand in his, squeezing it gently, letting her know he was there for her and always would be.

**TBC**

**Another shortish chapter, but I really need to go pack some stuff before I can write anymore. I'll update soon. **

**Thanks for reading, please review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay the last chapter was very short so I will make this one longer… or at least as long as I can.**

**Thanks for the reviews. I heard Kurt wasn't as big a jerk as I'm making him out to be. Oh well this is fanfiction, anything can happen. **

**Disclaimer****: They're not mine.**

**Chapter 9**

Olivia had changed into a loose fitting pair of black trousers and had a black tank top on with a white shirt on underneath it. Her hair was slightly wavy, she hadn't bothered straightening it. She had applied only a small amount of makeup just enough to cover the huge bruise on the side of her face as well as any others, including the one on her neck. She'd put no effort into changing, but as Elliot looked up from his coffee at her, he couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

She swallowed the mouthful of burning coffee she had and looked at him, half waiting for him to say something. He said nothing but she knew he had a question burning inside his head. "Whatever it is, just ask me…" She told him.

"Okay." He said. "Where do you meet these guys?" He asked.

She burst into laughter again and he quickly joined in. "I have no idea." She said. "I think I have a sign stamped to my forehead that says 'willing to let people take the piss'. That or I guess I'm just an easy target." She said.

"You're not an easy target Liv, you're just so afraid of being alone you're willing to let anyone into your life. You don't stop to think that they might be complete assholes." He said.

"Well you don't have to worry because as of this moment I am happy to say that I am going to be single and alone and happy for the rest of my life." She said, smiling at him before she took another swig of coffee.

He knew the smile was fake and just something to hide her hurt. He suddenly realized just how scared of being alone she was. "Liv that's bullshit…The thought of being more alone, than you are now, is terrifying to you and you know it." He said.

Tears had filled her eyes and were threatening to burst their banks any minute. She knew she couldn't lie to him, he knew her too well. She wiped away a rebel tear that had fallen. "Liv its okay not to want to be alone, you're human. We're supposed to want company and to not have to be alone." He said reassuringly.

"What's wrong with me?" She asked him as she roughly wiped tears away with her knuckles

He just looked at her, feeling such empathy for her. Tears had began to fall uncontrollably down her face, and she just stared out of the window, now embarrassed that she was crying in front of him, again.

He was about to say something but she got up and stormed out. He got up and quickly ran after her. She was halfway down the street by the time he caught up with her. "Why do you do this to yourself?" He asked her.

Thunder began to crack above them and it began to gently rain. Olivia stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face Elliot. "Do what Elliot?" She asked him, having to shout above the now heavy rain.

He pulled them both into a shop doorway, out of the rain. He stood there staring at her as she stared back at him waiting for an answer. "You always blame yourself for the shit that other people do to you. It's not your fault Liv, none of it is. I know you think you have no purpose but you do. You help so many victims get their lives back, you give them a voice." He told her.

She continued to stare at him; it was like he was almost angry with her. "This job shows me just how ugly life is and how ugly and cruel people are to one another. So many times I have thought about just giving it all up…but then I look up and I see you, and you make everything beautiful and you show me that not everyone is ugly and cruel. I love that about you, I love you." He confessed.

Her jaw dropped at his confession. No one had ever told her that they loved her. People had told her they didn't love her, her mother mainly.

"Olivia you think you are so unlovable, and you think you shouldn't be allowed to be loved and that's because of the people who have been in your life…but you can be loved, you are loved, by me and by everyone at the precinct." He said as he stepped forward and placed the palm of his hand against her face.

She nuzzled her face against his hand as he rested his other hand on her hip. "There's something between us that I can't explain, but all I know is that I hate to see you hurt, I want to be able to protect you for the rest of your life." He told her.

He moved forward and held her, as they both just looked at the rain. Hoping it would ease off so they could get back home without being drenched.

- - - - - -

Elliot followed Olivia into her apartment. The rain hadn't eased at all it had only got heavier so they were both soaked through. "I don't suppose you have a spare pair of trousers I could borrow?" Elliot joked.

"El if you fit into my trousers then I am going to kill myself. I do however have your shorts here still, but they're the ones I had on before." She said.

"It's okay. I mean it's better than me catching pneumonia." Elliot said.

She walked over to her bed and grabbed his shorts and shirt. "I'll let you get changed in the bathroom." She said. That way she could get changed in the area of her apartment that was her bedroom.

He smiled and thanked her before going into the bathroom and changing. Once he had finished he walked back out of the bathroom. He immediately saw Olivia stood with just sweat pants and her bra on as she trailed the bruises on her body with her finger. It was like a map of where Harris had touched her. It sickened her to the pit of her stomach.

She pulled her top on and turned around. She began blushing slightly as she saw Elliot and knew he had obviously been watching her. "I look like something out of a 'Rocky' film." She joked as she tried to walk past him.

He reached his hand out and gently placed it on her face, gently cupping her bruised cheek. "You look beautiful." He told her as he looked into her chocolate pools. She reveled in his light and loving touch. She closed her eyes and sighed shakily. "Liv what is it?" He asked using his other hand to cup the other side of her face.

"I want you to touch me El." She said with pleading eyes. Her voice was shaky as she tried not to cry.

Slowly Elliot moved forward so his body was lightly pressing against hers. It was Olivia who began the kiss, kissing him sweetly and softly, as she felt Elliot accept the kiss it became a little more passionate.

Elliot placed his hands on her hips but she quickly took them in her hands and led him over to the couch, lowering herself down onto it before pulling him down onto it with her. He continued to kiss her as he carefully lowered her down underneath him. He kissed her for another moment before maneuvering himself on top of her, careful not to put all of his weight on her bruised body or to get too carried away too quickly.

He began placing sweet kisses or her bruised neck. At first she continued to revel in his touch but as his body brushed against hers, the thought and feel of Harris touching her came flooding back. She closed her eyes and tried to tell her body it was Elliot touching her and that she wanted him to touch her. She kept her eyes closed trying to hold in the tears that were stinging them. Her body just couldn't be convinced though. "El please stop…" She whimpered.

Elliot stopped, like she had asked, but he didn't move off her as concern overwhelmed him. "Liv sweetheart I'm not going to hurt you…" He began to say.

"I know, but please get off of me!" She cried, trying to squirm from underneath him. "El please!" She begged even as he climbed off her. She covered her face over with her hands as she cried.

Elliot stood there, hating himself for going along with something he knew she wasn't ready for. He reached down and supportively touched her head. She flinched at the unexpected touch, making her sob more. Elliot took her hand and pulled her into a sitting position. He then sat down next to her. For a minute he just let her cry.

"What's wrong with me?" She cried again.

"Nothing…Liv you were beaten and came within a few inches of being raped…twice. You don't just get over something like that in a week." He said as he took her trembling hand in his own.

"I started that…" She said. "…I wanted you to touch me." She pointed out, looking so confused by her own actions.

"Yea and I will, when you're ready and only when you're ready." Elliot assured her, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

"I'm gonna talk to Huang." She said.

"Good…" Elliot said, nodding at her brave decision. "I think it will be good for you." He said.

"Will you come with me?" She asked.

"I course I will." He said, squeezing her hand a little.

**TBC**

**Long enough?**

**Thanks for reading, please leave a review. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for the reviews. **

**This chapter is all about Olivia talking to Huang and him trying to explain to her why she is feeling the way she is. Hope you like it. It's short, but it was a good place to end this chapter till the next one.**

**Disclaimer****: They're not mine.**

**Chapter 10**

"How are you feeling?" Huang asked her.

Olivia looked at him then around the room. The truth was she had no idea. She had asked herself the same question but never found an answer. Sometimes she felt fine, like maybe it had all just been some sort of nightmare, but then something or someone would brush against her bruised body and it all hit home again and she realized it was real, it happened, her battered body was proof.

As she thought about the question again all she could do was shake her head as she wiped away a few tears. "I'm not…" she told him "I'm not feeling anything." she said.

Elliot stood in the corner of the room, watching her, listening to her every word. "I wasn't even raped so why am I feeling like this?" she questioned. It was something she should have known the answer to, but she didn't at this point.

"You had control taken away from you. There was nowhere you could go in that basement and Lowell was right in there with you. It's like stuffing a cat into a bird cage. There was no escape and when you hid he found you…" Huang said.

She began to cry as she remembered how she _had_ felt like some pathetic bird stuck in a cage with a cat. In the basement, she had known her fate was to inevitably be raped.

"He restrained you and in your mind, at that point, you were going to be raped. Your head did such a good job at convincing you that you were about to be raped it's still waiting for it to happen." he said.

Everything he had just said had been spot on. She sat there, silent, as she registered all the things Huang had said. She also used the time to try and convince herself she wasn't crazy.

"The difference between someone who is raped and someone who is almost raped is that a rape victim knows what they went through and what happened to them and therefore they know what things they have to forget and work through and try to overcome…but when you're almost raped you don't know what to work through and forget and get over. You're imagining things happening to you that didn't so you're imaging them ten times worse and in all the worst most painful most degrading ways." Huang told her.

She burst into tears, she been trying to hold them back but his words were true and a little hard to hear because they were so true. Huang was good at his job. He was right in her head picking up on everything she was thinking.

"What was going through your mind when you stepped into the basement?" Huang asked her.

"When I realized I wasn't going to the hole and I saw the mattress, I asked him what he wanted. He said '_what every guy wants and you're gonna give it to me'_. She closed her eyes as she heard his voice saying it to her in her head, but closing her eyes only made it worse 'cause then she could see him saying it, she quickly opened them again.

"Liv…" Huang said, encouraging her to go on.

"I just thought that he would leave me there and just keep coming back and having me whenever he wanted me." She confessed.

"What scared you the most?" Huang asked.

"Lot's of things." She admitted, sighing, feeling so pathetic.

"But what scared you the most?" Huang asked again.

Elliot looked at Olivia as he waited for her to answer. She didn't look like she was thinking of an answer, more like she had one and just didn't know how to say it, or found it hard to admit it. It seemed to take ages, but finally she spoke. "That I was going to become my mother." Olivia said before the flood gates opened and she had to hide her face in her hands.

Elliot walked over to her and held her, gently kissing the top of her head before resting his face on the top of her head.

"You'll get through this Olivia. You're strong, stronger than you let yourself think." Huang said before leaving, giving them some time alone.

**TBC**

**Short I know.**

**Thanks for reading, please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'll try to make this chapter long seeing as the last one was so short, but it got great reviews so that was cool. **

**Anyway here it is.**

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing of SVU!**

**Chapter 11**

Olivia and Elliot where sat on his couch, in front of the TV watching a game. He was finishing off the pizza they had ordered whereas she had made a start on the ice-cream and chocolate sauce. Elliot watched as she licked a load of ice-cream off the spoon as she watched the game. He had never found someone eating ice-cream so sexy. He began to feel a little guilty, he was supposed to be comforting her, not getting turned on buy her simply eating some Ben n Jerry's.

"Stop watching me eat!" she said not looking away from the TV, but she had caught him out of the corner of her eyes.

He just laughed, blushing slightly. "Want some more chocolate sauce?" he asked her.

She held the tub of ice-cream out, smiling waiting for him to pour more sauce on to it. Elliot poured loads on and looked at her she was just smiling. "More?" he questioned.

She just nodded her head. He couldn't help but laugh as he poured some more on.

"Thank you." she said before tucking back into it.

"Only Dickie and Lizzie eat that much sauce." Elliot said to her.

"There is no pointing eating ice-cream if you don't have sauce to go with it." Olivia informed him.

He just watched as she ate another spoonful of ice-cream, dripping with sticky chocolate sauce. After the thing with Huang, Elliot had brought Olivia back to his place. They had stopped off at hers to grab some stuff 'cause he had managed to persuade her to stay with him for a few more days till she was really up and back on her feet. Olivia had spent an hour in the bath once they had got back.

Once she was out they had ordered pizza and it had arrived before she had bothered to change so she still had a towel wrapped around her with her thick fluffy robe over it, she had borrowed Elliot slippers and he admired the way her feet looked in them as she used his coffee table as a footrest. Her feet looked good in them, even if they were too big for her, it meant she had to shuffle around in them and to him it looked adorable.

"I didn't know you were a foot man Elliot." she said, smiling playfully, as she caught him looking at her feet.

"My slippers are about three sizes too big for you." he pointed out.

She just laughed. "Yea but they're comfy and my feet were cold, I forgot to grab my slippers before." she said.

"Well they look better on you than they do on me anyway." he said.

She playfully hit his knee. "You'll make me blush." she said regarding his compliment.

The game as it turned out was not all that interesting as the Knicks weren't playing their best and were losing bad style. Elliot watched as Olivia yawned, she quickly began stroking the bruise on her jawbone. It hurt like hell still. She hoped the injuries she had left Harris with still hurt him and caused him as much discomfort as the injuries he had left her with were causing her.

"You tired?" Elliot asked her.

She put the ice-cream down on the coffee table before sitting back into the couch. "A little." she said rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"Why don't you go get in bed?" he offered.

She was feeling much better after having talked to Huang. She didn't feel so crazy anymore. She understood better why she was feeling the way she was feeling. However the thought of falling asleep still scared her. Being asleep meant she couldn't keep a look out. She was vulnerable when she was asleep, but if Elliot was sleeping next to her she felt safe.

"If I sleep in your bed where will you sleep?" she asked him.

"I'll sleep on the couch." he answered, simply.

"You could come and sleep with me." she said.

Elliot looked at her with a playful smile. He knew what she meant but he pretended like he didn't.

"I meant in the bed with me. Your bed is huge I think there's room for the two of us." she clarified.

Elliot nodded and flicked off the TV. He stood up and took her hand and helped her up off the couch.

- - - - - - -

Olivia had changed into some clothes to sleep in and was already under the blankets when Elliot walked out of the bathroom. "You stole the best side." he said seeing her sleeping on his side of the bed.

"This is my side." she said.

"Well, seeing as you're the guest I'll let you have it." he said as he climbed in next to her.

Elliot lay keeping a slight distance between them. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. So he was slightly surprised when she snuggled closer to him, lay on her side and took hold of his arm and wrapped it around her body. He shifted onto his side and lay close to her. Her body fit against his perfectly.

"I never realized how good at his job Huang is." Olivia said.

"Yea he definitely knows what he's talking about. Do you feel better for talking to him?" Elliot asked as they lay in the dark.

"I don't feel like I'm so fucked up anymore." she confessed.

"You had every right to be confused and angry and even in denial about what happened."

"I know but I just felt like I was betraying the real victims" she said.

"You were a vic Liv."

She paused for a minute. His words were as true as Huang's had been. "Yea well, next undercover gig I'm assigned to I'm taking my gun." she said.

"Where you gonna hide it?" Elliot asked her, smiling.

"In my bra." she said.

He burst out laughing. He could just imagine her going "Charlie's Angels' on some perp's ass and whipping out a gun from her bra yelling freeze, any guy with eyes in his head would. She began laughing too, his laugh always had the ability to make her laugh too.

"Would you do it again, knowing what happens?" he asked her.

She thought for all of a second. "Yea. If it meant stopping him from hurting anymore prisoners and people like Ashley, then yea…" she told him.

Elliot was totally in shock. Olivia did more than amaze him. After all the hell going undercover had put her through she was willing to do it again to help the victims. Words couldn't explain the admiration he had for her. He kissed her cheek. She rolled over and looked at him. "What was that for?" she asked him.

"You're just so amazing. I love you and everything about you." he told her. He did. Anyone willing to go through the nightmare she had, twice, was a hero to him.

She kissed him on the lips, only lightly. "What was that for?" he now asked her.

"Cause I love you too." she said.

He smiled at her and began gently stroking her face as she snuggled into him. Within minutes they were both fast asleep.

- - - - - - -

When Olivia woke up, she found it was only her who now occupied the bed. As she listened she heard running water coming from the bathroom. The door hadn't been shut properly and she could see steam rolling out of the gap. She got up and climbed out of bed and walked over to the door.

"Do you always shower with the door open?" she yelled into the gap.

"Only when a beautiful woman is sleeping my bed." he yelled back.

She stood at the door, smiling at how cheesy he could be when he wanted. Deciding she would try and be helpful, seeing as he was giving her a place to stay for a while, she figured she would make breakfast. "You want some breakfast El" she shouted through the gap.

"What?!" he asked, having not heard her properly.

He tried to get the water out of his ears and listened for her to say whatever it was she had said again, but he heard nothing. "What did you say Liv?" he shouted again, but again he got no reply. "Liv?" he shouted as he pushed the shower curtain aside. He jumped back a little as he saw Olivia standing on the other side of it.

She couldn't help but quickly glance over his wet and naked body before quickly covering her eyes and turning her back on him. "I wanted to know if you wanted some eggs and sausage… EGGS AND BACON!" she quickly said. He couldn't help but smile knowing she was all flustered and probably blushing. "Sorry El." she said, blushing.

She went to walk off but Elliot carefully placed his arm around her waist and kissed the side of her neck. "It's okay Liv." he told her.

Seeing as he wasn't too bothered by the interruption she turned around and kissed him, resting her hands on his wet steamy body. As Elliot felt her allow him to deepen the kiss he slowly moved his hands to the bottom of her shirt. However he quickly stopped himself realizing how quick he was taking things. He just moved his hands to rest on her hips.

She suddenly took hold of his hands and moved them back to the bottom of her shirt. At first she guided them in lifting her top up but as he realized she wanted him to do it he took the lead. She held her arms up in the air so that he could lift the shirt over her head. The moment he could he kissed her again. Olivia pushed her own shorts off before stepping into the shower with him. She still had her underwear on but Elliot understood that making out in the shower was one thing, making love was another and he guessed that for now she was just happy with this.

He reveled in just being able to touch her body and feel her bare, now wet skin, in his hands. Being able to touch her and hold her, like this, was heaven to him. They both stood under the water, kissing, exploring one another's mouth. They both enjoyed the feeling of holding each other, with their bodies touching. Perfectly satisfied with the close contact. For Olivia, it was one more hurdle she'd got over on her road to recovery. Having Elliot help her over them just made it much better and so much easier.

**The End**

**That's all for now. I don't usually know when my stories will end, they just get to a place where it feels to end it, that felt right. If you feel I'm wrong, let me know and I may write more. Hope you liked it. **

**Please review.**


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